Afterhour Drink with a Male MD

MD's are known for having a massive army of bartenders who drug drinks after hours. I once heard of an MD who could mix the drinks just by looking at it. MD's > God

I heard MD's can put their dick in you without you taking your clothes off. Maybe you're into that kind of thing. Just make sure you clean the giz out of your eyebrows before you come strolling into your floor at 11:30 the next morning after that "drafting session"

I'm assuming you're a woman - as am I. You shouldn't go unless you want to sleep with him. No, I'm not being cynical, I'm being realistic. Not only for my reputation at work, but also for just being plain smart, I would consider going for a one-on-one drink with a much older man who I don't actually work for totally inappropriate.

If he wanted to talk to you privately what's wrong with daytime? Most of the male senior guys will exclusively take female colleagues for breakfast/lunch/coffee just to avoid any uncomfortable situations. I would recommend an alternate time and see if he's still amenable.

Well, I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions. Something kind of similar happened to me this summer and I also didn't know how to react and freaked out a little to be honest. In the end I went....and it turned out he brought his wife too, so it ended up being a really nice evening without any kind of inappropriateness. I really don't know what to advise you on this, just wanted to share my experience.

thank you for the honest opinion. I appreciate it. I definitely don't want to be viewed as someone who is not serious about my job. Just don't want to put my job in any riskspecially in this market.

When a female wouldn't fret over a male superior's intentions.

Of course he wants to sleep with you. Take a page out of the '90s playbook and think of it as a compliment. Besides, it could mean a little job security in this market environment.

Edmundo, I tend to agree with you. It seems like those women who came of age in the 21st century (i.e., those who are not yet in their late 20's) are (very broadly) not prepared to handle sexual tension with older men in the workplace.

Posh, take it from an old hand: use what you have as a woman. You cannot lose. Go to drinks with the guy.

If you need a playbook: Drink your drink slowly, cross your legs, lean towards him slightly when he explains something as if what he's saying is fascinating to you, touch your hair and cheek, and look into his eyes. Direct eye contact from a younger woman to an older man is electric, particularly if you do it boldly as an equal. (Caveat emptor: My "bold" has occasionally freaked men out, so I personally do "thoughtful" with a finger on my cheek. Most women can pull off the boldness without being challenging, but not me. All women do come to understand their own strengths if they work at it.)

If he makes a move, be innocent and oblivious and blunder on through the awkwardness as if you are a little gamine who has no idea what he's trying to do. You can be almost comically oblivious with an older man without straining your credibility with him, because he is not from a hook-up Facebook generation and still thinks of sex with a new woman as being a far-off quest to distant lands that he may never actually finish. This obliviousness does two things: it establishes that sex with him is 100% not on your mind, and it allows him to either withdraw or try again without hurting his pride or his face in front of you.

Most men eventually lapse into respectful, private flirting without pressure. This is exactly where you want them. They like to find a woman they can safely flirt with without risking a lawsuit. They feel guilty for putting the moves on such an innocent. And they often hold you in higher esteem and grant you a higher status in their minds because you clearly like them as a person but are not sexually available to them. If you can get an MD there, you have your ace in the hole when annual 360-degree reviews come around.

Sanity check: I could probably be accurately referred to as a ho bag, or hopefully an ex-ho bag, since I last dated a Wall Street BSD in 2005. (He was in his early 50's.) (Although I had a near-miss with a securities lawyer in 2007 that almost certainly would have become a thing had I not been about to get married and about to move across the country.) Point is: I clearly see nothing wrong with dating a 40-55-year-old man if he's interesting. I think men typically start to be good at conversation at 40, and I can't date a man without amazing conversation. No conversation, no sex with Mis Ind. Period. If guys of that age disgust you, don't ever try interacting with them one-on-one. Men can feel that, and they'll hate you for it.

so what happens when he says, "do you want to go back to my place?"

You look a little confused and awkward and say graciously, innocently, smiling, "Oh, no thank you, I've probably had one drink too many already and I should (go back to the office/go to my apartment/get ready for that 7 AM call with London). But thank you very much for this opportunity to chat -- I have really enjoyed what we've been talking about so far." At this point it is important to be so innocent and ladylike that it is clear you don't fully comprehend what he wants. Believe it or not, it works with the over-40 crowd.

Period. End it there. No rejection, no acceptance, no ego damage, no problem.

ha. I appreciate mis Ind's insight. I'm still trying to figure out how to wield this power-of-the-female-sex weapon.

Interesting insight from a reformed ho bag. I appreciate your candor. I definitely agree that his intentions are purely sexual otherwise he would invite you out in a small group of co-workers or do lunch/breakfast.

Sorry Mis Ind, I don't agree with your comments.

Anyways, I would say simply trust your instincts. If your instincts are telling you that you should beware, then be prepared. It's okay to go for drinks, but don't exceed yourself. During drinks if he starts to make you nervous or uncomfortable in any way, then just excuse yourself, say you have a prior commitment, thank him for the drinks and graciously exit. You lose nothing.

...pow chicka pow wow..wow wow pow chicka..haha

love the pic in the op

Or...you can get hammered and sleep with him. Channel your inner hooker, drop those panties, and say hello to job security.

You said, "to catch up with him", which means that you already know him. How did he behave towards you previously? Was he angling to get into your pants? Do you want him in your pants?

Since you're hestitate to have drinks with him, you obviously don't want him in your pants.

Do you want "to catch up with him", but not do it after work? Then, you can suggest breakfast/lunch/starbucks.

Is he married? If so, definitely suggest breakfast/lunch/starbucks and avoid the "drinks after work". After work, he should be at home banging his wife, not drinking with a hot young one. Unless, he's drinking with you to get horny for his wife later.

you're a female banker... its not like you're hot... so maybe he wants you to do something else for him like launder money?

It's okay, Aad. We were bound to not agree on everything. You are probably much more well-brought-up than I was.

You should definitely save copies of any email correspondance you have with him so that when you turn him down for sex and you later get fired you can black-mail him and/or file for sexual harassment. Its what all the broads are doing these days...

Things are ugly out there, you may have to sleep with him

L O L

does anyone else think Miss Ind lives in a fantasy world? Go to drinks with him and if it doesn't work out excuse yourself. Every law in the world is biased in your direction. The risk is all on his side of the court so just see what it's all about and don't worry about it. Unless the dude is a flat out rapist you will be fine.

from what i recall from back in the early days of WSO..mis ind is a fantasy..

smart, funny, famous (she was kitana in MK), and a banker turn investment advisor to ppl with net worths greater than the market cap of bear stearns.

thats what i dream about..she's what we in the industry like to call a crazy kung fu wolf chick (google the phrase).

Oh Mis Ind, how I missed your insight.

As always, the ladies of WSO deliver thought-provoking, eye-opening commentary into the intricate enigma-wrapped-in-a-maze of the vicious, carnal, but mystique-filled ways of the banker chick.

It's like watching one of those documentaries of something that is being filmed for the first time.

Haha, hope all works out for you. My guess is he's attracted to you, but you always have a choice of where you take it. I'd tend to agree with Mis Ind. How you wield your sway over guys is up to you. But hey, if it's a free drink, let the man buy ya' one. Let us know how it goes, haha. Good luck!

Hahhahahhaa

I've always said those things should have a trigger attached.

I' not quite sure what you stand to lose aside from quasi-awkwardly excusing yourself if things are threatening to go too far. Honestly, it's not like there's one decently attractive woman out there that has never used her looks in her favor.
Never ever? Ever ever ever?... please...

Golden.

Well.....11:15pm.

Who else thinks Posh is getting nailed by some creepy old MD right about now?

Way off topic, but I have to correct misinformation when I find it: People once purposefully misconstrued a statement I made about that movie. Several chicks, including me, did fight scenes or choreographed stuff for the Kitana role. I think I was pretty important to the fighting style as an end product, particularly since I was the only tessen-trained person on the set and, hello, she uses tessen. However, my value to the production could certainly be argued against, particularly because a lot of the stuff I thought was the best ended up getting cut.

Of course, I'm not standing around saying I was the only one who got into crappy film work from NASKA. Other people from my circuit did fight scenes for Liu Kang and various others. For instance, Jon Valera (who practically owned the circuit for about a decade), did Liu Kang in movie after awful movie and episode (!) after horrible episode for as long as the work paid... which was depressingly long for those of us that hate the MK franchise. My own teacher was called in to do various bad-guy stunt roles. See, Pat Johnson, the choreographer that did Mortal Kombat as well as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies and the Karate Kid movies, came from my circuit and believed in using his old friends and their students for the scenes. Three reasons: we were the best in the world at the time, we weren't in the stunt workers' union, and we were practically free. It was a shitty gig. Hell, even if I had starred as Kitana, it would have been a shitty gig. They probably paid her less than I made in my first year as an analyst.

If you don't want to believe it, don't believe it... but no need to attack me, eh? Oh, and the net worths of my clients? They're invested fairly broadly in the markets just like everybody else. We don't have any $500m clients anymore. Four months, just like that. The extremely wealthy are not immune to this volatility.

Although my sole remaining big client did just ask about what private equity guy to work with in order to dig up financing and investors so he can buy a certain firm and finally run it right. I'm not sure if anything will come of it... but hey, the price is looking right.

Where have all the posters in this thread been the past 6 months? Welcome back we missed you.

I have been having a life. Sadly, that seems to be over now and I am spending a lot more time in the office. I'm sure all of us need a little more WSO time to take our minds off the markets.

Poshmonkey, how did it go?

must... be ... extremely hot.

He is definitely trying to bang you. Without a doubt, hands down.

so what happened?

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We're about to enter a Great Depression.
Don't you want a president who's already dressed for it?

The silence speaks for itself

Ladies of wso please post more, the female banker perspective is very fascinating indeed.

Miss Ind your gangster is ruthless.

.

people are curious?

I consider myself a very good judge of character... I have a creeping suspicion that PoshMonkey went out for drinks with this MD and within 2 drinks and a shot of tequila Posh Monkey was back at his place, on the floor, stacked upside down on her shoulders against his Italian leather sofa with her head awkwardly twisted to one side, getting inverted tea bagged.

Tell me I'm lying.

Who was that douche who said he didn't have a passion for finance in another thread... work hard, become an MD and inverted tea bag analysts on Thursday nights, then try telling me how empty your career makes you feel.

"Inverted tea bag"... Hilarious

Halberstram is always good for a laugh. Inverted tea bag wasn't even the funniest part, it was the "head awkwardly twisted to one side." I got a vivid mental picture right then and there. Brought me back to my prison days...

Bankers = Bunch of awkward clowns. You chumps are always good for a laugh.

I don't really care but this thread reeks of douche.

vato..did this happen to your gf?

Alright, jp. It does reek a tad.

Marcus..bro, I think we both saw the same movie! you remember that other scene...haha.

------------
We're about to enter a Great Depression.
Don't you want a president who's already dressed for it?

... the oil rig... get it... get it...

Maybe he went Patrick Bateman on her and thats why we havent heard from her.

She's gotta come up for air at some point!